Svs games a wife and a mother11/30/2022 She hasn’t watched are kids in like 2 years, but that was one thing she loves to throw out there. She always tells him things she has done for us, to get her way. Like if I say no to loaning her money, he will give it to her and lie or not tell me. My husband will lie to me or not tell me stuff just to let her have her way. Everything you said sounds like good advice but my question is what do you do when she guilt trips your husband or BILs. I have been married for 20 years, and I am starting to feel like I am the problem. Should he need proof, be prepared to offer it up. Adult sons of narcissistic mothers may initially side with their Narcissistic parent, but if there are enough trust and love in your relationship, he should trust your word over hers. You should also communicate with your husband to let him know what his mother’s said is untrue. Just let them know the things said aren’t true and if anybody has any questions, they can contact you personally. You don’t even have to give them personal details if you don’t want to. If possible, communicate with the community to let them know the truth, but do so in a succinct, calm, and rational manner. In the worst cases, your mother-in-law may even tell lies about you to your own husband.ĭon’t try to engage with her behavior, much less return the favor stooping to her level will only make you look bad as well. She may also start spreading rumors about you in the community to turn people against you and favor her. She may have responses that have you questioning whether or not you’re remembering things right, especially when in front of other people. Reading Suggestion: Why the Narcissist Lies about EverythingĪ common technique narcissistic MILs use is gaslighting. Being the victim garners them the most attention and sympathy, which is what they feed on. Narcissists will tell lies if it fits their narrative, which usually entails them being the victim. One of the signs of a narcissistic mother-in-law is if she lies all the time. Once you do, you and your husband can be a united front instead of a split one. But some may be oblivious, so it’s a good idea to bring this up to them. Many sons of narcissistic mothers-in-law already know this about their Narcissistic parents they were raised by them, after all. But if you notice any of the above happening, you might want to bring it up to your spouse. It may be hard to get in between a narcissistic mother-in-law and her children. That way, you don’t let your mother-in-law’s poison your relationships in the family. Instead, you need to put on a united front with them. Narcissistic MILs may also pit their children’s spouses against one another, so don’t fall for this. This feeds the narcissist’s ego, so it drives her to do it even more. And in turn, this can make them fight hard for their mother’s affection. This may cause conflicts between the siblings. Reading Suggestion: Narcissists have a Golden Child and a Scapegoat Child For example, they may heap praises on one child while completely ignoring the others. It may not be noticeable at first, but they may pit their children (or even grandchildren) against one another. Remember how we said earlier that your narcissistic mother in laws needs frequent praise and admiration? One way they achieve this is through playing favorites. #5 She Plays Favourites and Is Manipulative Communicate calmly and clearly to your spouse about their mother’s concerning behaviors and let them know you won’t play into it. So even if you’re tempted to give in and do everything to try and please your MIL, you have to nip it in the bud. Instead, they’ll demand more and more from you. He may feel like you’re not doing enough to please his mother, which can cause friction between the two of you.Īppeasing a narcissist’s behavior only makes things worse, as they’ll never be happy with what you offer them. If you and your husband don’t address this issue at the very beginning, this may cause the eventual deterioration of your marriage. She’ll probably also tell your husband what a bad wife you are as well. But you may have noticed that if you fail to meet her expectations in just one area, your narcissistic mother in law won’t hesitate to tell everyone what a bad daughter-in-law you are. You may feel pressured to please your MIL, especially in the beginning, when you want to be accepted and loved by your husband’s family. Along the same line, she also expects everyone to acquiesce to her. Narcissists are extremely self-involved, which means your mother-in-law may require frequent praise from everyone around her.
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